Ah, Undo and Redo — the holy grail for those that make mistakes; saviors of ‘oh shit’ moments; enablers of the daring; unsung heroes of obsessive writers, carefully restructuring their sentences. You’ve been with us since the early days of computing. You deserve better than the terrible gesture given to you on iOS.
Post updated on October 7 at 2:20 PM Pacific to include a new notification from Offer Up.
You get them, I get them, we all get them — and no it’s not ice cream, but something far worse — Push Notification spam. Whether they direct us to new features or advertise sales and specials, they have become a plague. We get so many notifications as is. Coupled with the lacking notification management in iOS, the last thing we need is literal spam adding to the mess.
For too long we have let apps control our endless stream of notifications in the hopes they’ll make our lives easier. While most do, there are countless others, big and small, that have abused our trust. I say no more. Here are my top offenders, in order of most annoying to least.
My Top Offenders
They are by far the worst in terms of content and frequency. Here’s one in particular I saved from June.
Offer Up isn’t far behind Postmates. Yeah, I know it’s [insert national holiday here]. It doesn’t mean I’m going to look for [insert holiday-associated item here] in your app. I didn’t save an example, but I’m sure it won’t be long before I get another one.
Added on October 7 at 2:20PM:
Really? Why? Did everyone suddenly forget about the largest coffee chain on Earth?
There are countless others, as I’ve seen plenty examples over the years. I asked family and friends to send me any notifications they received in the same vein, so here are a few more. If you have particularly terrible ones, feel free to send them to me.
The solution I feel is three-fold.
Marketers: Don’t Be Shitty
Marketers need to stop trying to appeal to us this way. To think at any time I could be bombarded with an asinine notification about your product is ridiculous. If anything, it makes me dislike your brand/app and inches me ever closer to never using your service again. Only engage me when it’s actually warranted. Otherwise, get out of my way.
We The People
Report apps that do this to Apple. It’s explicitly against the App Store Review Guidelines, and if we make enough noise, hopefully Apple will listen. Which brings me to the third part of the solution.
You can report an app via the ‘Report A Problem’ site. One you login, apps purchased within the last 90 days will appear. Click the offending app’s ‘Report A Problem’ button and enter something of the following nature. If you need to report an app not on the list, contact support directly.
Apple: Enforce App Store Guidelines
Half of the onus for this mess is on Apple. They have rules explicitly outlawing these kinds of practices, yet have continued to let marketers get away with it. As a result, they have set a terrible precedent.
They also haven’t provided a way for us as users to opt-out or otherwise better manage these kinds of notifications. To draw a parallel, Apple introduced an official API for developers to engage users on rating and reviewing apps in iOS 11. As a result, the experience has been far better than what developers have resorted to over the years. Maybe they could apply this same kind of thinking to ad-based notifications.
Otherwise, Apple needs to get with the program and actually enforce the policies below. Here are a few App Store Review Guidelines that speak best to this situation.
3.2.2 Unacceptable [Business Models]
(ii) Monetizing built-in capabilities provided by the hardware or operating system, such as Push Notifications, the camera, or the gyroscope; or Apple services, such as Apple Music access or iCloud storage.
4.5 Apple Sites and Services
4.5.3 Do not use Apple Services to spam, phish, or send unsolicited messages to customers, including Game Center, Push Notifications, etc.
4.5.4 Push Notifications must not be required for the app to function, and should not be used for advertising, promotions, or direct marketing purposes or to send sensitive personal or confidential information.
Emphasis mine. I don’t know how it can be more clear.
The Starbucks notification above is obviously in violation of all these rules. They outright say they want me to place an order from my phone under the guise of ‘cool feature’.
In the case of Postmates asking me to check out their latest update, I’ll play devil’s advocate. One could argue it’s not for ‘direct marketing purposes’, and only a plea to check out ‘cool feature’. Still, what feature could they possibly add that wouldn’t be for the benefit of their core business? Considering this, how could the notification not be in violation of the App Store guidelines? It might as well say ‘Please open our app and order something.’ — at least then I’d have a little more respect for their honesty.
Not A Solution
You might be saying, ‘well then don’t patronize these businesses and stop using their apps’ or ‘turn off notifications for the offenders’, but that’s beside the point. Some do offer great services or experiences that require or provide great benefit via Push Notification (e.g. letting you know when your order is ready). We simply must be vocal about discouraging this kind of behavior or it will continue to run rampant.
Couple of tweets about the new iPad and iOS 11. It is inferior to a laptop in almost every way, unless you like to draw.
— Joshua Topolsky (@joshuatopolsky) June 27, 2017
Before I begin to address his comments, I’ll just say this…
Tech people have strong opinions about the iPad. Some see it as a pedestrian device that will never be capable of replacing their MacBook, and that’s fine. People are entitled to their opinions. Others, such as myself, embrace change and the possitibilities of new technology and the experimentation it offers. We find ways of making new things work that don’t detriment the process.
Second, the notion that the iPad needs to replace the MacBook is a massive misunderstanding. If you’re a MacBook-heavy user, and the iPad doesn’t meet your needs, then just don’t use it. Now, for the drama…
Ah, the Music app. Probably Apple’s most polarizing iOS app when it comes to design. When it was redesigned for Apple Music’s launch in 2015, there were tons of bugs and missing functionality that has since been restored. Kudos to Apple for addressing those many concerns. I still have one gripe, though.
I know a lot of people probably don’t care about having a real 5-band equalizer, but it’s 2017 and still not an option in Apple’s Music app on iOS.
Does anyone actually like the built-in presets for the EQ provided, heralding all the way back to the iPod days? Almost all of them reduce overall volume in a negative way, not to mention they just make your music sound like crap. A few of them have more utilitarian purposes, and that’s understandable (spoken word, bass/treble reducer, etc.), but at least give us the option to set the EQ exactly how we want it.
Ugh, the EQ presets.
I can’t think of a single reason Apple shouldn’t include a 5-band EQ—hell, at least give us 3-band and I’ll be happy (Bass, Mids, Treble). Most people who don’t want to touch it won’t. They’ll just leave their preset EQ where it is (or off compeletely). Spotify has had a band EQ for quite a while, and I’m seriously jealous.
Spotify’s band portion of their EQ settings.
Sure, there are a bunch of 3rd-party music apps that have band EQs and will play songs from your iCloud Music Library, but I don’t want a 3rd-party app. Mainly because I’ll lose the ability to ask Siri to play a song in said app, since that is a function reserved only for the Music app. I’ll also lose the custom EQ when playing a song in my car via CarPlay. There’s too many downsides to having to use another app just to tweak the EQ.
With all the little changes we’re getting in iOS 11, I had hoped this would be one. Maybe next year.