I'm Lance Somoza, a professional IT Consultant with over 15 years of industry experience and an obsession for technology. This is my tech soapbox.

David Pogue from Yahoo gave Samsung’s voice assistant Bixby a run-through and it doesn’t impress much. Here are some particular downsides from Pogue’s article:

Bixby is especially pathetic when it comes to navigation.

  • What pizza places are nearby? (Bixby: “Looks like there’s a connection problem.”)
  • Find me an Italian restaurant nearby. (Bixby opens Google Maps—promising!—but then stops, saying, “It looks like we experienced a slight hiccup.”)
  • Give me directions to JFK airport. (Bixby: “Which one?”)
  • Give me directions to the Empire State Building. (The “slight hiccup” error message appears after 10 seconds.)
  • In all cases, Bixby is very, very slow—plenty of videos online show how badly it lags behind Siri or Google Assistant.

It’s also fairly confusing. Most response bubbles include the baffling phrase, “You’re in native context.” And every so often, you’re awarded Bixby XP points for using Bixby. Samsung suggests that if you accumulate enough, you’ll be able to earn valuable prizes. OK, but if you have to bribe your customers to use your app…

This is hilarious. Samsung is resorting to gamification in hopes it will entice people to use Bixby. This is so incredibly ass-backwards. Imagine if you could win Apple points for using Siri or Amazon credits for using Alexa 1. How about this, Samsung: build a worthy product that compels people to use it because of how great it is, not because they can win imaginary points.

Like I’ve said before, no virtual assistant is perfect, but Samsung is incredibly late to this game. Since there’s a precedent now where every manufacturer needs their own virtual assistant, I suppose it’s no surprise. I’m sure Bixby will get better with time, but imagine how far ahead Alexa, Siri, and Google Assistant will be when that happens.

Side note: my favorite blunder from the video is when Pogue asks when Abraham Lincoln died and Bixby responds “Which One?”.

  1. On second thought, Bezos should get on this. ↩︎